For once, I agree with an academic!
Is it not so annoying to have to order using StarbuckSpeak?
WTF happened to small, medium and large?
UPDATE: Good gravy!
It appears that the Starbucks lingo has touched a nerve.
This just came in from reader Castiglione (heh), who obviously has some serious pent-up Starbucks frustration. The good fellow gave me permission to share:
"As someone who speaks good Italian, I agree that Starbucks communication policy is ridiculous, and should be ridiculed. I always say small medium or large. Maybe if I start asking for drinks in (metric) milliliters, they will think I'm cool enough for them. Typically when they ask their borg questions (which they dutifully do), I say "Queste sciocchezze veramente mi fanno ridere, dovete schezarmi!" (these stupidities really make me laugh, you have to be kidding me), etc."
"Then they blink and repeat their questions. At this point, I tip my head curtly up like a Neapolitan and grunt "eh", which is a Neapolitan truncation of a longer word ("ecco"), which means, roughly, here it is finally, yeah. I then enjoy their dirty looks, especially from the man-like cashier. One of these days I'll burst out with something like "Vai a fare! Disgraziati! Non mi rompere le palle! Volevo soltanto bere un caffè in pace!" (Go something yourself! Disgraces! Don't break my balls! I only wanted to drink a coffee in peace!). This would give the occasion a true Italian ambiente."
"It's not like they serve Illy or Lavazza anyway, so fuck their pretension."
"Oh, and they screw me every time I'm stupid enough to order a double shot because they charge me more. This is a scam because it doesn't cost them any more to give me a double, because when I order a single, two streams come out of the machine, but they only put the cup under one. The other goes down the drain. Fuckers."
"One more thing pisses me off: Starbucks also gives me enormous tea bags, so if I order a small tea, in ten seconds the tea is so over-steeped and stewed, like cardboard soaked in arsenic, that I have to spit it out and start over."
"How's that for a morning rant?"
"Starbucks is a major donor to the Democratic National Convention.""Just sayin'."
"They can kiss my Lavassa."
