January 29, 2009
Boys With Weird Names More Likely To Break the Law
Thank goodness for research studies.
"While the names are likely not the cause of crime, the researchers argue that "they are connected to factors that increase the tendency to commit crime, such as a disadvantaged home environment, residence in a county with low socioeconomic status, and households run by one parent."
Am I the only one who thinks that it might, just might be names like, oh I don't know...LaShawn or DuBoquwayah or TaNeeesheia might be on the list, is anyone else really sick of fake African names? Unfortunately, if you even think it, you're a raaaaaaaaaacist.
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2 comments:
Ha ha! We have a family game that we play with the kids - spot the most ghetto name. Might be a nice recurring feature on your blog - people can submit names they encounter.
Hey--my older sister's middle name is Lashawn ("s" not capitalized).
See, the intelligent black mother (married or single) gives her children a normal, easy to pronounce first name--then the flugged-up middle name, and then the ordinary last name.
For example:
Jerome Kelmontrez Gordon.
This young man has options: while among friends and family, he's called "Kel" or "K". However, on the job or in American society as a whole, his name's Jerome K. Gordon: call him "Jerome".
In any event--even if we come up with a name like, say--Jaquel Lamarco Simmons--the sensible black parent makes sure at least one of these names can be pronounced.
In my job at the state government, I've seen some doozies; I've tied my tongue in knots trying to pronounce some of the names young black parents concoct. It's not English, not African, and not any other language uttered by humans. It's some type of Eldritch tongue, forbidden syllables that even Cthulhu wouldn't utter.
I can provide some insight on why we (I'm using the "royal" or collective We in this instance) come up with these cockamamie sobriquets.
I'm not sure how it is for blacks in Canada, or for Yankee Afrimericans (I made it up, but I'm reverting to black soon); nonetheless, black men in the Southeastern US got sick of: Leroy, Lamar, Demetrius, and Julius for first names. As for the women, they had: a reasonable first name FUBARed by middle name "Mae" (or a goofy name to begin with, such as "Bertha" or "Eula", followed by "Mae"), a reasonable or goofy first name followed by "Ann", "Jo", "Jean", et cetera. Black women in the South thought this made them sound "country" (the city is so sophisticated...). Thus, they concocted their own names by combining relatives' names in random order; the idea was to keep certain names in the family.
My view: as long as a black kid isn't stuck with any name beginning with "abd", I'll try to keep my peace.
With that said, I suspect that a lot of special ed placements in public schools are a result of Typical Five-Year Old Boys attempting to pronounce names their parents had a hard time spelling; names such as: Hakimalojuwan Tiyequandeo Jones. Any random kindergarten teacher subjected to that will march young Mr. Jones to speech testing at least.
Eldritch tongue, I tell ya!
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