Random Free Advice for Men: Get the Card

It's kind of a slow news day today and I've been thinking about this for a while - it's free advice for men. Not the kind of bitchy "advice" normally dished out to men (go for some 'manscaping' or take up knitting or something, get in touch with your female side or whatever..), but some practical advice for men in their relationships with the significant woman in their life.

It all boils down to three simple words that will ensure that you don't sleep in the dog house after "special" days like birthdays, Valentine's Day and your anniversary: Get the card.

It sounds so simple, but I now realize how much heartache can be saved by encouraging men to make sure that no matter what they plan for their wife/girlfriend, to take into consideration that she may be one of the 99% of women who will still say "where's the card" - even after the most spectacular gift or festivities.

I first heard these words of wisdom on the radio from a gregarious business reporter. In his unmistakably brash, Italian American, New York accent he explained how he had planned a romantic weekend for his wife in Ottawa. He booked a suite at the Chateau Laurier hotel, he got tickets to some gallery even though he hates art. He bought chocolates and snagged a table at a trendy restaurant and even arranged for a babysitter for their one child for the entire weekend.

As they were checking out of the hotel, his wife looked at him with tears in her eyes and said: where's the card?

As ridiculous as it sounds - her weekend was devastated by the lack of a card.

Yesterday at work, before interviewing a young intern, we discussed the last "holiday" or "Family Day" and Valentine's weekend. One of my colleagues admitted it wasn't that much fun to have his in-laws and parents over for "Family Day". He was exhausted.

I certainly spent the better part of my "Family Day" trying not to go crazy juggling the toys and the lunches and the spills and the video games and the computer, etc...

We asked our other colleague how his Valentine's Day was, knowing that he had booked a romantic getaway in northern Ontario at a lovely spa for him and his wife. And this was in addition to a Friday night "date night" and dinner out.

He just sighed and said that it was very nice, but it didn't go exactly as he had planned.

I stopped him right then and there to tell him the card story from the radio and then he screamed "it's always about the fucking $2 card - isn't it????".

I said - "women" - what can you do?

Later that day, I spoke to another male friend who also admitted to being in the dog house because he couldn't get out of the house to get the card.

So fellas, if you don't want to be singing "No Sugar Tonight" for weeks on end, get the card.

Women can be terribly crazy sometimes. And no-I did not expect or get a card for Valentine's. I don't have a card thing. My thing is fresh flowers on birthdays and anniversaries.

Every woman has their schtick and that's mine.