Christopher Hitchens: Unspoken Truths

This is a profoundly moving article by Christopher Hitchens.

I am also very moved because my special needs son does not speak-like many disabled people.

One of the hardest things for me to hear about his particular syndrome was that "he might not speak". I remember that sentence fragment, that concept hitting me like a ton of bricks right on top of my head.

What did that mean-he might not speak? What was life going to be like?

Many children in his condition do speak with words. Some speak with pictures, or devices or iPads, or with cards or sign language.

I think one of the hardest thing for the parent of a child with disabilities is not knowing exactly what your child wants-but having to rely on imperfect guesses all the time, or flawed technology.

I hope I get it right most of the time, I suspect I do, but do I ever love to hear his voice.

Sometimes he babbles with a smile, or makes rhythmic word-like sounds exactly mimicking my speech when I read his favourite stories.

He makes a few preliminary sounds and a few (probably, hopefully, likely, maybe) monosyllabic words. That's not to say that he doesn't understand things-he understands a lot.

I sometimes wake up from a dream where my son is talking to me. Just simply talking to me, with words, and his voice-telling me some totally inconsequential, mundane thing.

I feel so happy, and then I wake up-not sure for a few moments if it was a dream or not. Was I dreaming that he could speak? Or has his disability been a bad dream and he's really "normal"?

I get oriented after a few minutes and then upset and angry. My dreams betray me. Sleep has betrayed me.

I toss and turn, only to fall into a deep sleep when the birds start to wake, ready to start a new day with all its challenges and joys-and my deepest wish that we are moving toward finding his voice. That someday, if I will it, if G-d graces him, it will no longer be a dream.