Which Is More Annoying?

This morning literally started out with shit and pee. One kid peed in my bed, another one had a poop in another bed. I knew it was gonna be a great day. Things went from bad to worse when I got on the public transit. And yes-I'm in Canada. I was trying to be more "inclusive" by pegging myself to North America, but a commenter seemed to want confirmation that I'm in Canada. I'll edit that later. Anyway, you tell me what is the most annoying thing about the morning. I went to the bathroom and a woman walked up to the sink and started hoarking phlegm into the sink. I thought I would throw up. She did this for about 2 minutes, then "washed" her hands with water-no soap, and went on her merry way to the subway. She was Asian. It's my blog so I'm going to tell you she was Asian. My friend taught English in Asia and he says that hoarking is a major problem. It's one of these quaint cultural things. In the country where he taught, they called the hoark puddles "sidewalk oysters". So, I use the bathroom and the damned thing flushes by itself. You know you're living in a blasted nanny state when the authorities figure you can't even be trusted to flush a toilet by yourself. If you can't flush a toilet, maybe you shouldn't be living in a democracy? How's that for political correctness? Then I get on the train and I spot a woman with a little container of hand sanitizer on her handbang-just dangling, like fuzzy dice would on a rear-view mirror. If you think that your stupid little hand sanitizer is going to protect you from germs-you are very stupid, or think that you are somehow contributing to public health with your stupid smelly hand "sanitizer". In fact-smart people a long time ago already invented hand (and other body part) sanitizers. It's called SOAP, and more people on the subway should be introduced to it. Sitting next to Hand Sanitizer Lady is Very Fat Progressive Canadian. I know he is progressive because he is reading the paperback edition of President (vomit) Obama's "Audacity of Hope". VFPC can barely fit onto the subway seat. I have had this happen to me. This may come as news to the fatsos out there. I do not actually want to rub up against your lard ass on my way to work. So, if you can't fit your butt onto one seat, you should stand. Thank you. Lastly, I got a dirty look from a woman sitting with her very attractive husband. I was just looking at him for a second, sweetie-chill out. She promptly put a death grip on him and he looked rather uncomfortable. So, what do you think is the most revolting? I'm tied between seeing Obama's book and shit. But, they are kind of the same thing. I may have to alter the scope of this blog. PS: I have no idea how to provide an RSS feed, so please keep checking back until I figure it out.